If you handed your child a phone this year, you are not alone — and you are not doing anything wrong. But a phone is a door, and some of the apps that come through it are built to keep kids scrolling, spending, or talking to people you will never meet. Here are five categories worth removing (or locking down) tonight, and how to talk about it without starting a war.
1. Anonymous messaging & “confession” apps
Apps that promise anonymous questions or messages (the NGL / Sendit / Yolo family) are marketed as fun, but they strip away the one thing that keeps online conversation civil: a name. For a child, an anonymous inbox is an open invitation for bullying and grooming. If it hides who is talking to your kid, it goes.
2. Live-location & “find friends” apps
Location-sharing apps broadcast where your child is in real time, often to a friend list they do not fully control. Sharing location with you is fine. Broadcasting it to a social graph is not. Keep location sharing inside your phone’s built-in family tools, not a third-party app.
3. Random-stranger video chat
Any app whose core feature is “get matched with a stranger on camera” (Omegle-style clones keep coming back under new names) has no place on a child’s phone. There is no meaningful age gate and no way to know who is on the other end.
4. Games that are really casinos
Loot boxes, “gem” packs, and spin-to-win mechanics train kids on the exact psychology a slot machine uses — and they are usually tied to your card. Either remove the worst offenders or turn off in-app purchases entirely in your phone’s settings.
5. Secret “vault” apps
Calculator apps that are actually hidden photo vaults, or “secret” messengers disguised as something dull, exist to hide content from you. If you find one you did not install, that is the conversation to have first.
How to have the conversation
Lead with safety, not punishment: “I’m not reading your messages — I’m keeping the door locked.” Set the rules together, review the phone in the open (not in secret), and revisit it every few months as new apps appear.
Watch the short version: we break this down in under a minute on our TikTok — @DigitalDadDefence. Digital Dad Defence is part of the Flipside of Technology family, helping parents keep up with the tech their kids already understand.